American Basics
Several dozen Yanks from such varied and far-away places as California, North Carolina, Florida, New Hampshire, and New York are about to descend upon the Emerald Isle, eat the local food, drink the local ales, and spend a few days mingling in the local pubs.
If you're a Paddy, you should be well prepared, with several topics on conversation already on the tip of your tongue. This section is for you.
"Yanks,"...
Let's start with the vernacular. Most Americans are not familiar with the term "yank," and even fewer identify with it.
The term "Yankee" refers to a member of a particular baseball club that plays in a place called "the Bronx" in the city of "New York." Only the groom's parents, who are from the Bronx, can be accurately referred to as "yanks," even though they root for the Mets and currently live in Florida.
"Sox,"...
People from places called "New Hampshire" and "Massachusetts" are usually fans of a baseball club called the "Red Sox," arch rivals of the "Yankees." (Think: "Man United" vs. "Liverpool") These people will probably not like being called "yanks," and might mumble something unintelligible about a "curse of the Babe" that was finally ended in 2004, when the Red Sox won a North American baseball competition known as the "World Series."
and "Tar Heels"
More loosely, the term "Yankee" refers to someone who fought on the winning side of the American Civil War. People on the losing side were called "Rebels." It is well-known that North Carolina fought on the losing side of this war.
It is also well-known that, in 2005, for the fourth time in history, the University of North Carolina won a basketball tournament called "March Madness," which means more to Carolinians than the World Cup means to the rest of the world.
North Carolinians are called "Tar Heels."
North Carolinians also prefer their tea sweetened over ice.
March Madness
It should be pointed out that Jan agreed to marry Sinead and take a honemoon outside the U.S. during the month of March, missing most of the "March Madness" basketball games. This alone illustrates how much he loves her.
Geography and Scale
America is big. Really big. You just won't believe how hugely, mind bogglingly big it is. And so on.
Sinead and a friend from Ireland thought they could drive across Texas in a single day. Three days later, they were still driving in Texas.
How to start a passionate debate...
Around the world heated discussions can be about politics and religion, however here are some passionate debates from the States you may not know about.
State, Carolina, or Duke?
In the Carolinas, where Jan lived for twenty years, there are only two question that really matter.
The first, "State, Carolina, or Duke?" divides people along the lines of the greatest college basketball rivalries in history. (See "March Madness")
What's your Barbecue sauce?
The second question is more subtle: "What's your barbecue sauce?"
You see, there is no argument in the Carolinas over what "barbecue" is. Everyone knows it's pulled pork from a smoked pig, served with "hush puppies" (balls of seasoned corn meal), cole slaw, bucket-loads of sweetened iced tea, and often followed by "nana puddin'" (bananas, sponge biscuits, pudding) for dessert. A large gathering of people eating barbecue is called a "pig pickin'" and is a popular way to spend summer weekends.
Regional lines are drawn, however, on sauce preferences. Easter North Carolina sauce is a spicy vinegar-based sauce. Western North Carolina sauce adds ketchup to the mix. In South Carolina, people use a mustard sauce. Tennessee natives (further west) introduce hickory sauces.
At a recent wedding in eastern North Carolina, there was a pig pickin' for the rehearsal dinner. The goom's father, hailing from South Carolina, knew the sauce would be vinegar based, and brought a bottle of "Carolina Pride" mustard barbecue sauce to the dinner for himself.
Do you ... Yahoo!?
Sinead and Jan found each other and made a home in northern California, a full 3000 miles away from North Carolina, and about 6000 miles from Ireland.
Northern California is a nexus of geekiness. Comic book fans are everywhere. Software engineers are idolized. Science fiction rules, creative ideas blossom, and venture capital money flows into new companies more freely than the Shannon flows into the Atlantic. Inventions with names like "iPod," "eBay," "Google," "Yahoo!," "TiVo," "Netscape," and "Zazzle" were born here, and have rocked the world.
To get a northern Californian talking, simply play to their high-tech fantasies. Here are some potential conversation starters:
- IE or Firefox?
- What's your favorite email client?
- Mac, PC, or Linux?
- Where were you during the rolling blackouts of 2001?
- How much were your options worth on paper before the Dot Com Bust?
- Tell me your layoff story.
- Isn't Google Maps just the greatest thing ever?
- When was your last date? (online chat rooms and IM don't count)
- Did you "google" him/her before you met?
Confusing Phrases
Americans tend to be very literal people, and some Irish colloquialisms are likely to give them pause. Among them:
- "good craic" sounds like a potent inner-city drug
- "I got pissed" implies that you were mad at someone
Similarly, there are a few completely innocuous American phrases, and any Yank saying one of these should be excused:
- to "get gas" means to fill a car with petrol
- a "fanny pack" is a polite term for a bum bag
How to be a "Plastic Paddy"
- Attempt to be better at the Irish Ceili than any of your cousins from the country.
- Know all the words to the Irish National Anthem
- Drink Guinness with a shamrock drawn in the head
- Let the bartender stick his finger in your Guinness to draw that shamrock.
- On St. Patrick's Day, hang up a sign made in China that says "Erin go bruith" (Ireland and Cooking)
- Name your daughter "Colleen" (girl), "Erin" (Ireland), or "Shannon" (a river or an airport).
- Name your son or daughter "Fuinneog" (window) or "Faoileann" (seagull) and tell people it means "light" or "bird." (Sinead swears an Irish-American neighbor in New York City did this)